you want around forever. no lie she is one of the most genuine people i've ever met. someone asked me today how can i still say these things about her. i told them no matter how hurt i am i cant bad mouth her.....i love her and me talking about her would give someone else the right to and like i told her i'd fuck someone up for coming out their neck sideways about her. granted at this moment she's a lot of names in the book too me but she will forever be muffin to me. and no i wont call her that anymore even if we become friends again muffin is a name that i want to retire reminds of my love for her. i hate this you know....hate this sick feeling i have everyday even though i havent had foos for the past two days maybe three....damn just thinking about it has me thinking.....is she not eating over me? hell no she isnt. i need to let go and get over it. i cant eat though i cant physically bring myself to eat. i need to try though, i swear by the end of this shit im either gonna be skinny as a bitch or sick as hell smh well if i did ever end up sick as hell and in the hospital i know who i wouldnt call. eh i feel bad though like she should know that i love her im just hurt i disagree on how she went about things and i dislike the fact that she told me she didnt hurt my heart. she doesnt know how i feel but she told me that....that was wrong. oh well cant dwell on it she isnt. my friend asked how do i know she isnt hurting i said because she told me how i felt so that means something but after tonight my answer is if you heard her voice on the phone you know she isnt and i'd be surprised if she cared. but i love her and that wont stop for a while. i wish her the best best in life and love and i hope hampshire is everything she dreams of and more. i hope her job ends on