care though. i want nothing more than for her to be happy :) the thought of her being happy makes me smile even if im not. you cant force someone to be there. yes i lost my best friend and yes i got hurt in the process but i cant say i regret having her in my life for the time i did. i do however regret falling for her and how hard i fell. but i guess people move out of your life for a reason. she was a season im guessing and that season was winter cause it left me having to shovel. matter of fact i take that back. maybe we just need time apart. she needs to focus on her...eh thing (i cant bring myself to say the word) and i need to focus on me. i somehow need to find happiness cause for a while she was my happiness. and thats that strange ass love.my friends said we were like edward bella and jacob, compared my ass to bella and her to jacob i'd personally switch it around. now anyone back to the girls night we went to see step up 3 and it was a good movie i enjoyed it except for the union square part....reminds me of her. i teared a little bit. got in the car got lost a lot and then talked to the cause of all these fucked up ass emotions. i apologized and she said "okay...blah blah blah.....im still giving you space" and we hung up. it hurt to think that why we never got together is why we fucked up a friendship and see i blame both of us cause everything wasnt me. i wouldnt feel as fucked up if there wasnt a dumbass patch of space between us in the first place. but whatever you win some you lose some...i just hope i dont cry myseld to sleep, i dont want to do that again and i dont want to wake up crying and i dont want to cry periodically through the day. i am full of emotions and i hate it but im not ashamed. hey we all fall sometimes and we all fall alone at times and in my head i still say i was completely alone. i still care though if she call