making it work

So I realized I'm ready to try and make this work with us. Not completely ready but sort of ready. This skype date made me realize a lot of things. I'll never get over the fucked up situation I was thrown in unless I take a random ass chance. Sure it's a big chance but it's a chance none the less. I like this person. They are sweet and caring and they have 8 out of the 10 qualities I want in the person I'm dating. While the my best friend has all 10 there was one that was missing that isnt counted but this person has.....they want to be with me no if, ands, maybe's, or buts about it. They want to try something and to say I'm scared as hell is an understatement. I realize my best friend was right on somethings though you can't force yourself to love someone (which is why I'm not mad she couldn't force herself to love me). I want to try but I know I'll be holding back and well if there is some falling going on I want it to be equal I don't want us to end up how my best friend and I are now one of us is broken and the other is happy. I don't want to be in this situation again because I'll feel like shit and them not being happy will kind of fuck up my happiness. This skype date was awesome. I found out some things I never knew. Funny yet weird my pie where's oshune oil....my best friend where's that. I told my pie and she laughed and said "well she has awesome taste doesnt she?" I shrugged didnt really have an answer I didnt want to talk about her on my date. Pie asked why I rarely speak of her if she's my best friend I told her there's nothing to really speak of we aren't really speaking. Pie thinks whatever it is can't be that serious cause we're after all best friends. I steered the convo away by saying I think oshune oil smells delicious haha well lets just say I have a freak on my hands "you can bite me if you want" lmfao okay so everyone that knows me knows i have a thing for biting ask my best friend smh i swear if you let me bit you I will be yours forever hehe. I also love dimples and well Pie has the cutest dimples ever they're deep as hell and it makes the smile even more adorable than what it already is. I just think pie is beautiful inside and out. We had a great conversation, pie is awesome and amazing and just....wow. I promise I'm not falling I just notice the little things. There isn't much that I don't like about pie haha, like its refreshing to have that again. I feel like I did when I first started talking to my best friend but a tad better I just only hope this doesn't turn out like that shit did. I can tell Pie is gonna be a handful already especially since we're so much alike. smh pie called me a 'babosa' and didnt think I knew what it meant I keep telling pie my family has a lot of puerto ricans in it i grew up around spanish I used to speak it fluently my little sister is puerto rican, I have pr in me smh I KNOW how to cuss you out in spanish shit lmfao. But anyways we had a great date. (I think pie is gorgeous smh and the fact that pie speaks spanish fluently YEEEEES) Pie sung to me it was too cute, an original song only for me. I've never had that done for me before. I'm usually writing the songs and poems for everyone else or singing to everyone else. I usually never get treated like this it's refreshing and cute. Pie and I had a long talk and well yeah lets just say I hope things can only go up from here :) (I know you're wondering where pie came from lol their fave desert is blueberry pie and a banana muffin....well i clearly couldn't call them muffin! so pie it became...I'm called snickerdoodle lol yaaay)