truthfully

so if i have to be truthful about everything thats going on im halfway. part of me is okay the other part is not. i care no doubt about it i care. im an emotional person not to mention a female. i love and i hate i go through heartbreaks. im just me. i dont bite my tongue when i have to write out how i feel about shit. there's nobody really reading this and thats awesome. i felt like shit for a while no doubt about it i still have moments where i feel like shit. but its all going to get better i have faith in that. i hope that she's happy and everything is going great for her. i still pray for her everynight, thats real. i want her to be beyond happy. i wouldnt be a true friend if i didnt care about her. everything will be ok though i have faith. lately i've realized that she was right about a lot of things. i've also realized that our friendship means a hell of a lot more to me than what i thought. i could give a fuck whats going on between us now if she needs me im goin to always be there. i have faith in our friendship no lie. she is the one that knows me inside and out my secrets and what not things i've never told anybody else. i miss her. i really do but she needs space and i gues in a way i sort of did too. i just hope she know that even with everything going on im there for her when she needs me. for anything. im proud of her through everything thats happened she's still strong as ever and she wont let shit break her. i wish i had her strength im ready to break a lot at times. she inspires me. she pushes me to be better. because of her i got on top of my shit.....i was afraid to let her down. so i thank her. im not mad still a little hurt but mad i'll never be....smh she forgot i can't stay mad at her ass. i'll be praying for her again tonight. i hope everything is good....i hope gma is good and in great health. my mom misses her. its funny as hell my mom loves her like she's her