an awesome note. one day when sheks ready we can be friends again just sucks that i lost her. it really sucks that what she tried so hard to prevent happened any damn way. my ex told me today she hopes everything work out with the girl and i and i let her know we arent even really friends right now "she has your heart in due time it'll work out between you two and i wish you the best" i disagreed with her but she was persistent. i think its funny my ex and i who argued non stop had a civilized break up but the person who holds my heart well our friendship ending was hardly civilized (a lot of it was my fault i must admit). eh this alcohol tastes good....i think i should stop drinking cause in about 2.5 seconds i have to drive. oh well its all good. i guess i have been making poor decisions but its not my fault everything is taking a huge toll on me and why not live on the wild side instead of being stuck in a room staring at my ceiling crying or looking in my mirror asking why i wasnt good enough. im tired of doing that :/ later blogger....i have to go drive....oh yeah i might start a new blogger soon. i do wish one thing before i go though....i wish she'd tell me that she doesnt love me anymore so i can get over this and her :/