i think i've written on this blog lately to make up for a lifetime. isn't it funny how something happens and you can go on pretending nothing is wrong like nothing happened to make you have to go on pretending like everything is in order even when its not. yet in the back of your mind you know somethings missing....something is wrong everything isn't right. the stars aren't aligned in your favor and well you know that. you know exactly what's missing from your life you just have too much pride to truly acknowledge it even if everyday has its own little reminder of what it is. if everyday is a riddle and you keep collecting the clues until you outright acknowledge whats really missing. i guess i have too much pride. well no not technically. i acknowledge whats missing just not really. the past few days i've been in this whole other world one where i'? not sad i don't particularly care anymore....but i know thats not really the case sooner or later this world im living in is going to make me acknowledge the shit and well im not ready for it. i am however ready for the day where whats missing in my life isnt missing anymore but i know thats not gonna happen anytime soon. aint that something. the words "i miss whats missing" isnt going to come out right now. just think about it dont comment just isnt it funny how one thing thats missing can make you feel a tad hollow though you pretend it doesnt bother you. isnt it funny how that one thing can change everything in your life and turn you into the best actress possible.